It’s 4:20PM, first Friday of August–Nelson calls from Roseburg, Oregon, excited as always but glowing with evil genius cackle.
“Can you be here in exactly 72 hours!? I have some legendary bucket list shit going down here Monday at 4:20 and you need to get down here–like for the magazine. You in?”
“What exactly man, I’ve got so much shit going on.”
“I don’t care what you have going on dude, it couldn’t possibly be cooler than what I’ve got going on at my farm and you and Clive need to get your asses down here and bring a camera for the magazine and for yourself, just trust me.“
“Seriously man, why can’t you just tell me? We can probably come.”
“ ‘Probably’ doesn’t cut it, either your coming or I’m gonna bail on this once-in-a-lifetime, legendary idea. Have I ever let you down before, man? I swear this is bucket list shit.”
So loaded with high-guy energy and enthusiasm I couldn’t say no, besides he’s got a heart of gold and a green thumb connected to it, so at the very least this would be a good excuse to peep his fresh light dep harvest and dab on the Umpqua River with some kind Pinots.
Nelson also fancies himself a viticulturist and made a living in the wine industry before he crept out of the shadows at Boss Hawg Cannabis Farm. So he’s always got cases of Pat’s latest vintage from Spangler Vineyards, why the hell not.
You probably guessed it by the picture of Frank the camel, just what Nelson had up his sleeve down there in the Umpqua Valley. Yep, Camel rides and photo shoots in his cannabis garden. Bucket list? I guess–now. Can’t say I would have put that on the list without Nelson’s creative coaxing, but hell yeah it was, as promised, a legendary party!
Nelson had some great ideas for the photo shoot like riding through the rows of cannabis with magnifying glasses on the end of broom handles to inspect head colas on otherwise unapproachable giant plants and making it seem as if “…that’s what we do in Oregon.” He also had plenty of not-so-great, high-guy ideas–rescuing kittens from the cannabis on camelback??? Dab up and use your imagination.
Thankfully no kittens or camels or humans were harmed during or after the shoot until much later when most of the humans in attendance got all banged-up on pinot and dabs.
So, where does Frank live and why was he at Nelson’s farm and why am I sharing this story?
Frank and his partner (they travel as a team) reside at the drive-through zoo and Nelson traded a friend of a friend a half-pound of flower to bring them down and play in the cannabis garden for a couple hours.
Furthermore, I’m sure the bud was kicked down one ounce at a time to avoid violating Oregon state law!
And why share this story?
Why not share a wonderful day in the life of Guy Holmes and a lesson about trusting your home team!
Thanks for being on the home team all these years, Nelson, I appreciate your friendship–this issue is for you and Frank the camel and all the Roseburglars for taking such good care of us down there–always a thrill a minute!
Guy Holmes, Editor